So, I’ve saw a couple of posts floating around lately on “things I would say to my younger self”, I think it could be a tag, I haven’t been tagged in it, but I have a strong feeling I could make an exceptionally good post out of it. So I’m just going to write a little bit about things I would tell my younger self now and things I wish I had known.
- you DO NOT need to be nice to people who are trying to take advantage of you. – Growing up, I had a lot of people take advantage of my good nature. Whether it was friends who weren’t really my friends and just wanted something in return for friendship, or boys, well, men. Usually men. Some of you may already know, some of you might not. But, I once wrote on one of my old posts about how I was raped on my 19th birthday, the 28th of October last year. Well, before that there was another incident. At the age of 12 I became a victim of sexual assault. Ever since I didn’t feel like I had the right to tell guys ‘no’. I didn’t want to be mean to people. How stupid was I to think protecting my own body and innocence was mean.
- Don’t favour fake friendships over real ones – Growing up, I always tried to be friends with everyone. I thought that the more people that liked me, the better I’d feel about myself. But the truth is, I liked myself so much better when I was being true to myself instead of pretending to be someone I wasn’t.
- Just because your home life is different from everyone else’s doesn’t mean your not loved the same – Growing up, all my friends had mums and/or dads who would wake up with them before school, make them breakfast, set them up for the day, but not mine. My mum would still be in bed when I got home. I hated going to my friends houses and watching their parents act like real parents, it made my heart bleed jealousy. But I’ve learned since that my mum does love me just the same, she’s just not very good at being a mum.
- Put yourself first – I wish I hadn’t been so selfless and put my own feelings first from time to time. I know its a great quality to have, but whose putting you first if you can’t even do it yourself? Because you bet your ass that they’d put themselves before you in a heartbeat.
- Don’t be so trusting – My biggest mistake was letting people in who didn’t deserve it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve put my all into someone and they’ve passed it all on to someone else. i can honestly say I’ve been betrayed in every way possible all by different people I put my trust in. People are evil and there isn’t very often that you find someone whose going to support you instead of going against you at the first chance they get.
- Live your life and stop worrying – I know ‘stop worrying’ isn’t something that you would usually say to someone who suffers with a serious case of anxiety, but I truly mean it. Stop worrying about everyone else and start concentrating on having fun, you’re still a kid! Stop giving yourself adult responsibilities. If your mum cant look after you properly, that isn’t your fault. Nor is it your responsibility to take on yourself as your own parent.
That’s just a few things that i would say to myself if i met a younger version of me. What would you say to your younger self?