Hey guys, just me again.
I came up with the idea for this post before I even started writing up Thursdays beauty post. It was prompted from the extremely popular Netflix series ’13 Reasons Why’. I’ve just finished watching the whole series and I have to say I think the way that it was made, even written (yes, there’s a book!), was amazing! The meaning behind it and the messages that the producers and writer are trying to send has done a great job amongst young people so far. But there have still been a few people, not the majority mind you, but still quite a bit, have picked out the fact that the character struggling with suicidal thoughts and ultimately suicidal actions had someone on her mind romantically throughout the whole series. Meanwhile, she was on his too. They’ve picked this one thing out of all of the messages the whole show has tried to send to make young people aware of mental illnesses, suicide, bullying and the other problems that happen throughout high school and the issues it can cause for a young person inside, and tried to turn it around in a way, to make it all about the romantic relationship that was or wasn’t yet formed between the two. So I thought I would just share with you all a couple of my own opinions and reasons as to why this shouldn’t be a thing.
- Real people struggle on their own every day – The truth about mental illnesses, bullying etc is that most people who are suffering, are suffering on their own. It’s not fair for someone who has suicidal thoughts to be branded romantically, or to see people all over the world making it look like it’s a ‘fascinating’ or ‘attractive’ thing to be going through.
- Mental illnesses are more known to ruin relationships – As someone who suffers first hand with mental illnesses, I can tell you openly that any relationship I’ve tried to form with people hasn’t worked out for the best, due to my anxiety and depression. Having depression often means that I even struggle to get out of bed sometimes. So for me to be able to withhold a romantic relationship with someone when I can barely bring myself to reply to a text or get out of bed to go and see the other half and just like Hannah, who struggled to see whether Clay liked her or not mainly because she was so convinced that everyone felt a certain way about her because of the way people spoke about her at school, I struggle to see the difference between someone necessarily liking me and someone just giving me the time of day purely because anytime I try to socialise with anyone the anxiety overtakes and distracts me from those kind of signs.
- TV Shows are not real life. – TV shows like Skins for example, I love Skins, but Freddie and Effy aren’t a real representation of mental illnesses and relationships within them. Their story is a script, it’s not really like that. If you’re young and you’re starting to see signs in the person you’re with that there’s something not right, you panic. You have no idea what’s going on because you don’t understand and you end up running away from it. You can’t make people feel guilty because they didn’t understand just because of that story that was on a TV series once.
- It’s always people who don’t understand – Usually when you see posts romanticising mental illnesses, suicide etc it’s always going to be someone who’s never had to deal with one before and has no idea how it actually feels to be mentally ill. So for someone struggling on their own with a mental illness it’s hard to see something like that and not react. It’s hard to see someone who hasn’t had to deal with the daily struggles of a mental illness preaching about how ‘cute’ it is for your other half to “look after” you. Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that.
- It makes people believe that mental illnesses are a trend and not a problem – People who are lucky enough not to suffer from a mental illness see posts like that everywhere and some actually start to think that a mental illness is a trend and even pretend to suffer with one just to look ‘cool’ or ‘attractive’ when in real life, it’s neither of those things. These types of post just constantly adds to more confusion and misconstrued ideas that lead to the mental illness stigma, which most people suffering with a mental illness of some sort are trying to pry themselves away from in the real world.
These are just a few of the reasons that I came up with which makes me hate the whole romanticising of mental illnesses even more. I think instead of romanticising mental illnesses people need to start going out of their way to learn about what these people are going through and try to help in ways that will be appreciated by everyone instead of trying to create a false sense of attraction in something so deep and most definitely not something that’s supposed to be attractive.
thank you so much for being here, lots of love xo